youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
