Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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