I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
