He is such a slut. More and more my type.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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