How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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