I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
