So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
