AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wish you could order shots online.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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