Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
