I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Still dying that you shit outside
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
