Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
