I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
