thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
