If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
