If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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