You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
