i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
