So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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