singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We need to feng shui this bitch.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
