My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
