I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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