You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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