i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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