Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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