think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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