bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This is the high leading the old right now
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
