i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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