# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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