I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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