So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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