remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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