Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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