there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
