I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I understand Curling. That high.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
