went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
