Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
