She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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