I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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