But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You're like the curious george of whores
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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