But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
