This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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