Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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