The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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