he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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