There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
