Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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