4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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