Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
