ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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