i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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